I was probably always kinky. I had sexual fantasies when I was in grade school and later. These often involved being tied up or tying someone up. But in those days there was no way you were going to tell your friends or even your lovers about such secret desires. In college I started tying myself up a little and again having various fantasies. Probably the one distinct turning point was in college when I saw a friend’s porn magazine that depicted rope bondage. I thought it was very hot.
I went through all the motions – vanilla dating, marriage, kids. Still not ready to open up and reveal to anyone my inner thoughts. This started to change when I was able to start reading the internet news groups. These predated the web and were like an internet wide discussion board. The news group that caught my attention was called alt.sex.bondage. By the way the entire history of postings from all the news groups are available at Google, look for the heading Groups.
I found that the people posting were intelligent articulate and considerate. Over time I learned that there were other kinky people and they were probably worth getting to know. There was a lot of etiquette and protocol to learn. I also learned where I could venture out to see and experience BDSM first hand.
Not long after all this I went though a divorce. It was time, after my vanilla marriage, to act on my desires. I told the first woman I dated after my marriage that I wanted to explore kink. She had never done this, but was willing to try.
I had enough knowledge to play a little bit with her in the bedroom. It was awkward and difficult to play at first. So much of your focus is on the mechanics of play, and I was naturally nervous and clumsy. We took some rope classes. I attended a Two Knotty Boys class in 2001. This was my first real introduction to rope. I absorbed some of the material and with some practice was able to repeat what I had learned. I started playing regularly.
Since then I have taken numerous classes from Midori, Two Knotty Boys, and others. To this day, I will always learn something new, even if I take a beginner class. Every rope instructor has things they have learned that are unique. Though I really started to improve when I was playing weekly or more often. Once I learned the fixed ties that I had been taught, I’d circle back around and modify and change them. I’d see new ways of doing things. Then after a while I started thinking up my own ties.
Since then it has become an expanding area for me. I am always learning and trying new things. It is like learning a language: once you have the vocabulary and some dialogs memorized, you can create new sentences and have new conversations. Rope work has taped into many areas for me.Some of them are quite surprising. What was erotic and sexual is also now spiritual and creative too. I see it as an art form – ephemeral art. It exercises my mind, and this helps keep my brain agile and growing. It challenges my spatial skills. But most important of all it has given me a tool to connect with others and give them pleasure.
I have also made friends with some amazing and creative people who are also into ropes. Rope work has given me the opportunity to share knowledge and collaborate with others. I have taught at venues in the Bay Area, I have taught classes at Burning Man, i.e. Camp Arachnid, Orgasmateria and Suspense Camp. I have done performance rigging at Burning Man, Bondage a Go Go and Seacompression in Seattle. I co-host the rope peer workshop at Edges. Lately I have started posting videos on YouTube as Tomfooleryrope.
Ropes have been a part of my life for the last 8 years and my interest in them is increasing. I have found a life long interest that is core to who I am. I hope you enjoy the information here.